I feel like ever since I got back to this shit hole, I have been spiraling into a deeper and deeper depression. Little makes me happy. I am constantly in a bad mood and what doesn't help is that I have no one to turn to.
People in my goddamn hall find it funny to draw penis's on my shit. They find it funny to draw on other people's boards and label that I "heart" penis. I don't get why these people have a beef with me. I have done nothing to them at all. I hate them all.
I want to cry. But I don't at the same time. I want to laugh. My roommate is so carefree. She does not have a serious care in the world. She's too oblivious to real world situations because she's engulfed by her own. Appearance is key to her.
In fact, appearance is key to everyone here. This I don't understand. Who the hell are you trying to impress? And why? Why are all these people so fucking shallow. They're unable to look outside the box - that ultimately, it's personality that matters. It is how you act around a person that steals the deal. You could be the hottest girl in the world and still be the biggest bitch. That is my pet peeve.
Are these people so self-conscious that they're unable to shed their persona's to actually be who they are? Yes. And that's why they are sad and pathetic people. Consumed, no, devoured by the media that we constantly associate ourselves with today.
I'm so sick and tired of these people. All so fake. All liars.
But then again, i am a hypocrite. For I am just as fake as these posers. Fake until I'm able to weed out the few real from the fake. It's hard though. I've lost faith in belief. I was too ignorant before. I need to open my eyes. Clear my vision.
The worst part is, even after ranting I still don't feel good.